music effect in learning

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Down here you will find the professor suggestions to re-submit it, thanks in advance
You don’t need to say that “background infor has been in existance for centuries” No need to state the obvious. Just go straight to the facts in hand and supporting
elements??
Good, you have established your Abstract and Thesis clearly (no need to repeat your purpose in both, btw)
I recommend you find a way to shorten your paragraphs for better read and flow of your copy as extensive graphs tend to draw the reader away from the content as they
lack time or consistency to stay on target. That’s why it is imperative to find writing ways that are appealing to readers in order to keep them alert .
Also, were you able to interview a local expert in the area of music in the medical and or academic fields?
Has music helped your growth? Do you know anyone who has been positively affected by musics.
It always helps to offer first-hand life recounts of individuals who can tell you about their own experiences.
Otherwise, nicely done. Just think beyond next time.