Peer editing
Order Description
The purpose of this week’s homework exercise is to approximate a peer-review opportunity as best we can given the confines of this course.
In keeping with the set-up of the course (see the Guidelines for Course Deliverables), let’s say that you are an assistant account executive at ACME Public Relations. You have been assigned an intern.
Your intern has worked up a draft news release for one of ACME’s clients. You must review it and provide constructive feedback. This will entail not only copy-editing for correctness and AP issues, but more significant advice about the flow, clarity, structure, etc. of the release as well.
Attached (as a Word document) and/or embedded below is the intern’s release, warts and all.
Please correct for Associated Press writing style to the extent you can, even though we have yet to cover AP style in detail. Get in the habit of looking up lots of things (words, punctuation marks, etc.) in the AP Stylebook.
Same thing with the inverted pyramid structure for news releases. We haven’t covered it yet, but feel free to tackle the subject in your feedback to your intern to the extent you can at this point.
You may provide your feedback to the intern in one or a combination of several ways:
• Mark up the release using Word’s track changes feature.
• Mark up the release by hand and then create a file of that for uploading.
• Create a separate document with line-by-line corrections and feedback.
• Another way that is user-friendly for the recipient.
DO NOT REWRITE THIS PIECE. The point here is to get a sense of what it’s like to offer constructive criticism and copy-editing advice.
This exercise is not just about calling out your intern on errors and correcting them. It’s also about offering suggestions and constructive criticisms about how they can truly improve this piece and future written work, which will help to sharpen their writing skills.

Here is the paragraph in which it needs to be edited:
MAJOR FINANCIAL FIRM NAMES NEW PRESIDENT

Today, the Board of Directors of Connors-Walsh, Inc., one of the worlds premiere financial planning companies, voted to elect a new president and cheif operating officer of the firm.
Frances A. Kennedy was chosen to replace Allan Edwards, who has declared his retirement and will leave his current post after having served as president for a total of twenty years. Kennedy will assume her many responsibilities as president in a few weeks, on April 31.
Kennedy has the same sorts of interests that the Connors-Walsh company does and a vast amount of financial planning and insurance knowledge since she has worked in the field for a number of years. Prior to joining Connors-Walsh, Kennedy was the Executive Vice Presidnet of Equity, Inc., a major life insurance company, for 8 years, and she also served as a Top Executive for many other financial and estate planning organizations, including Nathan-Thomas, Inc., an investment firm that has offices across the nation and throughout the US.
With a Bachelor’s of Arts degree in history from Syracuse University and a Master’s in Business Administration from Cornel U.; Kennedy is also a member of many groups and organizations, who’s members work in the financial planning arena. These groups are the National Financial Planners Association, of which she was a former president and is still a member, the Boston Business Executives, the New England Insurance Association, a group she served on the board for, and the International Association of Investment Bankers.
Conners-Walsh is a leading provider of life insurance and business plans in the United States. The firm’s service encompass a wide variety of different areas such as mutual fund management, real estate investment, and financial and correspondant brokerage services.