Interpersonal Communications

Chapter 8 – Relational Dynamics – Discovering Dialectics

Purpose – To identify and describe behaviours that contribute to dialectical tensions in relationships.
Instructions –
1.    Identify the dialectical tensions operating in the following situations, taking time to explain the conflicting feelings and thoughts in each.
2.    Identify one or more of the seven strategies for managing dialectical tensions (denial, disorientation, alternation, segmentation, balance, integration, recalibration, and reaffirmation) that you believe would be most beneficial to the relationship, and explain how the relationship would deal with the dialectical tension under these circumstances.
3.    Next, describe dialectical tensions at work in your own relationships and label and explain the strategies that you use to deal with them.
Situation    Dialectical Tension    Strategy for Managing
Example – Thalia, 19, and her mother, Agnes, have become good friends over the past few years. Thalia now has a serious boyfriend and spends less time talking to her mother.
The openness–privacy dialectic is probably at work here. Thalia and Agnes continue to share the intimacy of their mother–daughter relationship, but privacy needs about the boyfriend probably keep them at greater distance.    Thalia and Agnes are likely to use the balance strategy, in which they maintain openness about many areas, but keep certain parts of the boyfriend relationship “off limits.”

Spiros is new to the software firm where Steve has been for five years. Spiros has asked Steve to play golf this weekend. Steve is uncomfortable about mixing business and his personal time, but still wants to have a good working relationship with Spiros.
Nesto and Gina have been dating for six months. They continue to enjoy each other’s company, but both of them have begun to notice annoying little habits of the other.
Alger and Barnard are siblings who have always relied on each other completely as they were growing up. Alger appreciates Barnard’s dependability, but wishes their relationship wasn’t so boring
Eugenia and Shane have worked at the same business for 20 years. They have collaborated on a number of projects. They’ve tried to get together socially, but Eugenia’s husband and Shane’s wife don’t seem to get along.
Christina and Nicole are roommates. Christina wants them to tell each other everything, but Nicole is not proud of a few things she’s done and doesn’t want to face her friend’s judgment.

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